99874

Joke of the Day

"Waiter waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup. Yes ma'am they can't stand the boiling water."

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, ""that's a little condescending."""

"Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing."

"Best listener Girl: My boyfriend never listens to me. Friend: You should date a blind mute. Girl: why? Friend: he's all ears"

"A gang of nefarious thieves walk into a bar. ""Ouch,"" they said."

"Dust bunnies are great pets because they thrive on neglect."

"Today my girlfriend offered to finger me I was deeply touched."

"I find the f1 key really attractive. I think I need help."

"Soda Can Yesterday someone hit my head with a soda can, luckily it was a soft drink."

"A Nicki Minaj song makes way more sense if you make up your own lyrics."