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Joke of the Day

"[buying condoms] Do you have anything bigger? Like if someone wanted to pretend to be a slippery ghost for a day, or something like that."

"The Funniest Joke I Ever Heard Was... Post them in here. Honestly, off the top of your head, post the funniest joke you've ever heard. Whether it's very long, or a simple one-liner, share it!"

"me *sees wife's cheesecake* future me [sent here to warn me what would happen if I ate it] *knocks on the front door* me *already eating it*"

"A cow stumbled upon a marijuana field about to get harvested. It quickly turned into a high steak situation."

"I just broke up with my blind girlfriend. We just didn't see eye to eye anymore."

"german jesus why jesus not born in germany?there was not three wise men and not one virgin around"

"Things I learned from media: Sanders has won a bunch of states but must drop out Rubio shows he's a contender by losing nearly everywhere"

"[my wife and I watch a drunk white girl fall out of a cab] I've never drank that much.... [wife looks at me in disgust] ugh, ok I have."

"My friend said Obama is the coolest president ever... ... Nah, Zachary Taylor was the illest."

"Science tells us there are far fewer female autists than male... But thanks to the pay gap, there are far more female starving autists."