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Joke of the Day

"How do you know your sister is on her period? When your dads dick tastes like shit."

"What was Lincoln's worst decision as President? He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth"

"What does velcro yell as it charges into battle? ATTACH!"

"Why don't programers pay tax to the Devil? Because that would be a sin-tax issue."

"Never go to restaurants with Hipster Chefs. The food is spoiled. They've been using refrigerators before they were cool."

"I really want to make a period joke. But it's just not that time of the month for me"

"Coming soon to NBC: She's a lawyer who, you guessed it, doesn't play by the rules. And he's a doctor who, right again, pees sitting down."

"a pizza is basicaly a real-time pie chart of how much pizza i am going to eat"

"Knock Knock Who's there CD CD who? C DEEZ NUTS *ha* ^^*Got* ^^^*em*"

"Just when you think parenting can't be any weirder, you find yourself consoling your son, upset that he can't get a squirrel to hug him."