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Joke of the Day

"a pizza is basicaly a real-time pie chart of how much pizza i am going to eat"

"Bill Cosby is a lot like Freddy Kruger. They both come in your nightmares."

"Einstein developed a theory about space... ...it was about time too."

"The director of EA walks into a bar *Download the punchline for only 4.99* Edit: Thank you for the gold, kind Redditor!"

"I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups. Apparently, it's a very touchy subject."

"I just pimped my car. Now it has extra whorespower."

"At this late date, the only way I'm gonna be famous is if I save a baby from a fire. And the baby is filming the whole thing with his phone."

"Her: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Me: *puts naked Barbie away. 'It's not VooDoo if that's what you think! Her:Freak! Me:Did you feel--anything?"

"Teacher: What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ? Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it !"

"Bill Gates be like: Hi,my name is Bill Gates, Let me teach you how to count: 1, 2, 3, 95, NT, 200, XP, VISTA, 7, 8, 10 Now give me money."