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Joke of the Day
"Why did the chicken cross the road half-way? She wanted to lay it on the line."
Next Joke
"PASSWORD EVER, USERNAME GREATEST *username/password must each contain at least one numeric character* PASSWORD 9EVER, USERNAME GREATEST6"
"A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative."
"Oh your baby's name is Walter? Is he close to retirement?"
"I went to the zoo but there was only one animal... it was a Shih Tzu."
"What kind of dog do IT people prefer? A Dobie"
"[speaking at an AA meeting] Me: You'll find the transition from hard liquor to hard drugs expensive, but very rewarding *everyone cheers*"
"I laughed at Yoda for hiding in a swamp Then again, he's the only Jedi to ever die from old age Maybe he knew what he was doing after all."
"PATIENT: Someone gave me pills at a party and my stomach hurts DR: We took x-rays. You have spongy dinosaurs expanding inside you right now"
"Have a friend who takes pics of her food and then goes to the restroom to delete them all. Instagramorexia Nervosa."