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Joke of the Day

"I dumped my girlfriend and started reading a geography book. At least I know where I stand now."

"When should you buy a bird? When it's going Cheep."

"The location of a pimple on your body is directly correlated to how much your body hates you."

"Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch what fruit would it remind you of? Pupil: A pear."

"me: How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?! Netflix: Because you watched ""The Wedding Planner"""

"Why should trees never sign birthday cards? Because they're always so *Sappy*!"

"Best goldfish joke ever told Two goldfish were in their tank. One turned to the other and said, ""You man the guns; I'll drive."""

"My impression of a New Zealand duck: Quick... Quick. Quick."

"What do you call an asian golddigger? Cha Ching"

"A poll was taken by 2,000 prostitutes asking if they would have sex with Ted Cruz. 91% said Never Again""."