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Joke of the Day

"A poll was taken by 2,000 prostitutes asking if they would have sex with Ted Cruz. 91% said Never Again""."

"That dolphin tattoo on your ass was SO hot when you were 18, Now it looks like a used condom!"

"Subway is rolling out a new signature sub. Ask your sandwich artist for the 'Jared'. It is served with less then 13 grams of fat."

"This LSD may be taking a turn, but I think this pony rabbit is a piece of shit insurance salesman."

"I just fell backwards off a stool trying to get the last few crumbs from a Pringles can into my mouth if anyone needs a wife or something."

"My Grandfather developed Cancer when he was younger Some say he's the most evil scientist to ever have lived."

"Apples New Featured Release The Fappening."

"Why do Welshmen like to embarrass their wives? It makes them rather sheepish."

"How did the emu feel when his friends disowned him for being too big? Ostrich-sized."

"""Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?"" [ sigh ] ""You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe."" [ bathrobe sags dejectedly ]"