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Joke of the Day
"When should you buy a bird? When it's going Cheep."
Next Joke
"Why do Native Americans make the best strippers? Their dancing can make it rain."
"Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she'll never notice. Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget it. That's because elephants never forget."
"What did the farmer say to Lil Jon? Turnip for what"
"It's cute that you think everyone is jealous of you. We actually just don't like you."
"My girlfriend said she will leave me unless I stop pretending to be a dung beetle. I said, 'Go right ahead. I can live without sex but I do need to eat every day'."
"[talks about how badass wolves are for 20 mins] date: can we talk about something else? [pulls out powerpoint on why wolves are badass] No"
"If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they'd leave that one on too."
"How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man? (pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)"
"Kanye West becomes the President And Kim Kardashian becomes the First Lady"