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Joke of the Day
"Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch what fruit would it remind you of? Pupil: A pear."
Next Joke
"My ""15 minutes of fame"" are when I get my paycheck and everyone I owe money comes to collect"
"I walk into my dad's office and I'm like ""sup motherfucker"" and he's all ""I'm on a conference call"" and I'm like ""sorry, sup motherfuckers"""
"Scientists are now saying they may never discover what LinkedIn is for."
"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands. That joke never gets old..."
"Just saw a snake slither through my backyard, so if anyone wants a house in Houston, it's yours."
"The Fine Bros should be join the Criminal Minds team After all, they did find 100k unsubs in just one day."
"Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?...No you hang up first! Hello? 911?"
"What's so fun about having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them."
"Someone stole the toilet from the LA county sheriffs station. The cops there have nothing to go on."