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Joke of the Day

"Dammit Dad Dad: ""Whaddya got there, son?"" Son: ""Soy milk."" Dad: -pauses- ""Hola milk, soy tu padre."""

"Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang So I shot him.."

"What do you call a pink slip served in a coffee bag? Grounds for termination!"

"What do you call a routed Greek army? A Failanx"

"Q: What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion? A: A chainsaw can be tuned."

"Why did Victoria get fired? I don't know"

"What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."

"*Cop Dog radios in* We've got an armed robbery in progress ""What's that boy?"" An armed robbery on 5th ""Timmy's stuck in a well??"""

"What do you call someone with a successful life? Certainly not me."

"I think it's weird that characters in comic strips always recite the alphabet to fall asleep... ...But it's even weirder that they always time it exactly fucking perfect."