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Joke of the Day

"Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says ""I've lost my electron."" The other says ""Are you sure?"" The first replies ""Yes, I'm positive."""

"Going to open a new restaurant ... I am getting ready to open an Asian/Mexican fusion resturant... I am calling it Juan-Ton"

"R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)"

"Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can't curve his paw into a little fist"

"Did you hear about that look alike contest in china? Everybody won"

"Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working! *eye twitches"

"Why isn't ""cheating"" a relationship status on Facebook?"

"Want to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"What is the largest moth the world has ever seen? A mammoth"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."