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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that look alike contest in china? Everybody won"

"Every Canadian child goes to sleep with a plush toy of the current Prime Minister to keep them safe. Justin Trudeau was elected because Stephen Harper was scaring the children."

"Since I'm home alone tonight, I'm carrying around the biggest kitchen knife I could find. You know, to stab any murderers who come for me."

"One ovary was talking to another ovary.... Left Ovary: ""Better watch out!"" Right Ovary: ""Why?"" Left Ovary: ""There's two nuts out there trying to cram an organ in here."""

"What did the Squirtle say to the Charmander? (X-post from /r/pokemon) Squirtle"

"You look so young... what is your secret? I am fifteen."

"I'm surprised Bob the Builder ever gets anything done He's surrounded by tools"

"I was so bored last night I decided to make a belt out of all my watches It was a complete waist of time"

"Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate? I'm staunchly pro-volone."

"Do you like fishsticks? yeah? LIKE IN THE MOUTH? THEN YOU'RE A GAY FISH"