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Joke of the Day
"Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
Next Joke
"Me: Do you love me? 13: Silence Husband: if you don't tell your mother you love her we are going to make out at your next soccer game."
"Is that a Higgs boson in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
"The one good thing about Hurricane Patricia Clean Drinking water falling from the sky for Mexico!!"
"If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I'd choke to death swallowing it."
"You get to sleep all day, cat, that's why I get the good food."
"What did Casper say to his girlfriend? I love you, boo!!"
"I made a shitty voodoo doll, once... ...and all the limbs fell off. Worked out for me, though."
"Bruce Willis: I hate when people talk during movies, I never do it Director: Yes but we're filming the movie now, do you see the difference"
"What would you do if you were Justin Bieber for a day... ...i would send all the money in his bank account to me, obviously. How about you guys?"