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Joke of the Day

"What do neutrinos and I have in common? We're always penetrating your mom"

"People keep accusing me of using the wrong words in my sentences. It's like everyone in my life has turned into a grandma nazi."

"Did you hear about the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner."

"Sean Spicer getting very upset with the media for not reporting that Trump put up a 28/13/11 triple double against the Rockets yesterday."

"I have a habit of standing naked in the laundry room wondering what to wear. This may have contributed to my immense popularity in college."

"Say what you will about ISIS... But you can't deny their suicide business is booming."

"Children shouldn't talk to strangers. Not because strangers are dangerous, but because children are incapable of meaningful conversations."

"Whats the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?? A hooker can clean her crack and sell it again."

"I heard the chief of police on the news saying ""we will never forget 9 11"" I should bloody hope so its your phone number"

"I would like to apologize to those offended by the false pregnancy gags. I too participated in this prank. I would like to apologize to all the men out there unable to carry a baby."