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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner."
Next Joke
"Playboy is starting a new magazine specifically for married men. It has the same centerfold every month!"
"In grocery store & guy grabs my hand,starts to walk.I go with him, till he turns & realizes I'm not his wife.We broke it off...Single again"
"These e-cigarettes keep getting bigger and bigger. I swear I just saw someone smoking a clarinet."
"*wife & I finally look up from our phones after 9 months* ""Have you had the kid yet?"" -No ""Well, I'm level 77 on candy crush."""
"Remember don't judge, you never know what another person is going through Unless they're constantly oversharing on Facebook, then go ahead"
"I am not fat I'm just making a very successful recovery from anorexia."
"'Bout to get white girl wasted (drink 3 dirty martini's, squeal about loving everyone, eat chicken fingers & vomit)."
"My girlfriend said she doesn't mind what car she gets, as long as it gets her from A to B. Which I fully support. Her boobs are far too small."
"My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night... She nearly took my fucking eye out."