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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor said the next time he comes over he's bringing the whole family, so I told him I couldn't wait and then I burned my house down."

"How do you subdue a large snake? You use a boa restrictor"

"Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer? Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!"

"Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life."

"What do you get when you cross a baseball with a turkey? A fowl ball!"

"What do you call a snobby criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending"

"I used to have a height complex... But I grew out of it."

"My sister said she had strange cravings and an enhanced sense of smell so she must be pregnant, but I secretly thought, ""werewolf."""

"Why did the T-Rex get kicked outta the porn shoot? Because he had a reptile dysfunction"

"I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they're ok."