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Joke of the Day

"should probably not think about sad things at work i mean who wants to buy a dildo from someone who was clearly just crying in the shoe room"

"What is worse than blacking out after a crazy night and losing money? Blacking out and gaining money."

"The Boy Scouts ended their ban on gay adults, which means that soon you'll be able to buy some delicious Boy Scout cookies."

"Who's the world most famous blacksmith? Will Smith"

"A drunk throws up on a dog.. And say.. ""Jesus I don't remember eating that !"""

"To whoever has my old phone number: I truly hope you're enjoying those texts from that guy I met at that thing"

"On Hitler's birthday my company is discounting everything... Everything will be nein percent off. My mother actually came up with this..not sure if I should be concerned."

"Told my husband the best way to get help at Home Depot is to wear yoga pants, but I dunno. It doesn't seem to work as well for him."

"After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like ""feeding the hungry"" and ""How to thank a loving wife"""

"As I get older I realize my penis is like Jesus. It takes 3 days to reserect after a good beating."