186635

Joke of the Day

"Told my husband the best way to get help at Home Depot is to wear yoga pants, but I dunno. It doesn't seem to work as well for him."

"Why is ISIS going after programs? Because they are executable"

"I don't understand why we give bad kids coal. Isn't coal what minors want?"

"How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb? well many how???"

"Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a case of beer? He's okay. It was light beer."

"I'm only watching the royal wedding for the bishop. I've always wanted to see a person who only moves diagonally."

"A pirate walks into a bar The bar tender notices that he has a ships wheel sticking out of the front of his pants, he asks ""doesn't that bother you"". And the pirate says ""arrrr it's drivin me nuts"""

"SOMEBODY: she had a boyfriend who looked like that girlfriend that you had in february of last year ME: what the hell are you talking about"

"It must have been something to watch MC Escher's kids run down the stairs on Christmas morning for all eternity."

"My heart goes out to all the single thermometers that don't get any help from the therdadeter."