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Joke of the Day

"I'm not popular, but I have nice friends. I'm not rich but I have what I need. I may not be liked but I know I'm loved."

"*spits out mouthful of peacock feathers* I'm sorry, I thought these were for just anyone to eat. *gets escorted from zoo*"

"What did the one llama say to the other before they went on vacation? ALPACA BAG"

"Why did linkin park wrap themselves up in plastic wrap before they jumped off a cliff? So in the end they didn't even splatter."

"Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents."

"Shout out to all hoarders, sleeping on piles of cats and whatnot."

"What do you call a muslim crocodile? An Allahgator!"

"The World Trade Center had a Speed-Reading club they went thru fifty stories in thirty seconds"

"Hillary Lewinsky's campaign has received an endorsement by... Weird Al Sharpton."

"Oscar Pistorius gets six years jail. Jail, then home detention, and back to jail. Wow, for someone with no legs he's covering a lot of ground."