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Joke of the Day

"mom. Mom i'm going to get married. whom then. Jane form the next door. oho god.. you sure? where you going to live? Mom. Jane is Emo she doesnt want to live."

"why are sex ed and drivers ed never on the same day in Iraq ? the camel would get overworked"

"What do you call two black guys on a white guy? ...half a sack"

"Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in."

"Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb."

"Unable to fall asleep all night from browsing on your iPhone? There's a nap for that."

"I gave my 1yo a chocolate covered raisin. He chewed, paused, then gave me a look that told me he will never trust another human being again."

"A pine tree planted in 2004 in memory of former Beatle George Harrison in a Los Angeles park has died after being infested by beetles."

"A magical tractor is driving down a road... and turns into a field."

"Hey, maybe one time we could make a sitcom where the husband is out of the wife's league and the wife says stupid shit all the time."