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Joke of the Day
"How did the clerk greet the prostitute? ""What can I do you for?"""
Next Joke
"How are eating a girl out and working for the CIA similar? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit. (Thanks to u/Gary_III for pointing out the mistake last time"
"Bernie Sanders should change his name to Colonel. That way he'll surely get the black vote."
"In exchange for eternal youth, Amanda promised a witch her firstborn child. Amanda's a lesbian."
"Aspirin is a Placebo!!! That sense of relief you're feeling is all in your head."
"My wife just accused me of being big-headed and thinking I was better than I was. I nearly fell off my throne."
"Me: I'm happy right now. Life: lol, one sec bro"
"Friend: are you ready for our hike? Me: *filling my camelback with french onion soup* just about"
"If I say ""Bloody Mary"" three times in the mirror in the dark I get a free drink, right?"
"The only sexual problem I have is... I don't have sex."