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Joke of the Day

"In exchange for eternal youth, Amanda promised a witch her firstborn child. Amanda's a lesbian."

"How can you spot a blind man in a nudist camp? Its not hard."

"Archaeologists found Beethoven furiously erasing his music When asked what he was doing Beethoven responded ""I'm decomposing"""

"Interviewer: So when did you decide you wanted to be a sumo wrestler? Me: When someone tried to get me onto the dancefloor at a wedding."

"chewing tobacco must've been a hard sell: Do you like nicotine but hate smoke but love to spit smelly wet chunks of leaves? Well guess what"

"I think Jesus is black.. Because he's our father and still hasn't come back yet."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"Why is modern wheat supperior to old wheat? it's bred and better!"

"I'm going to shave my beard. Her legs will look #FAAAABULOUUUUUS!"

"Synchronized diving would be far more interesting without the pool."