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Joke of the Day

"My wife just accused me of being big-headed and thinking I was better than I was. I nearly fell off my throne."

"You know how dogs think, when you leave, that you're never coming back? That's how I feel when I leave the house for work every morning."

"What's green, fuzzy, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree onto you it will probably kill you? A pool table. (*)"

"What did one fish say to another fish after Eve had her first bath? Great, now we smell like woman."

"Have you heard about the humble farmer? He's a grower, not a shower."

"Co-worker felt bad about throwing away a donation request from the Alzheimer's Association. I told him not to worry, they won't remember who they sent those to anyway."

"At 17, Joan of Arc led the French to victory and I just looked for my phone while talking on it."

"There was a counter top on layaway at Home Depot. They said it was for the Packers' punt returner, Hyde. It was for Micah."

"This is why I'm leaving /r/jokes: I have a dentist appointment. I'll be back in an hour."

"When Chris Angle levitated in front of Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris just laughed and flew away."