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Joke of the Day

"My wife just accused me of being big-headed and thinking I was better than I was. I nearly fell off my throne."

"Samsung Gn7 user here. despite all the abuse they're getting I was surprised that it's actually a really great phone I mean the battery life alone just blew me away"

"What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message."

"My wife spent two weeks deciding what color to paint the bathroom. I got a cat on my 9th birthday and named it Cat."

"Whenever I have a twitter break, I check my job."

"Jokes 1. Something said in the pursuit of laughter. 2. A short tale with an end worth laughs after. 3. A noun you expect commands no respect. Root word ""jocus"". This limerick: disaster."

"What does a cat call a bowl of mice ? A purrfect meal !"

"What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwears"

"What do you get when you mix Mexico with literature? Tequila Mockingbird"

"Some people around here retweet like it's coming out of their booze allowance."