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Joke of the Day
"How many lawyer jokes are there? 3, and the rest are true stories."
Next Joke
"Marriage is like a three ring circus. First you've got the engagement ring, then you've got the wedding ring, and then you've got the suffering."
"My mother in law:did you put the weight on? Me:no...actually I've lost some. You should have seen me month ago. I looked like you"
"Last week I got a vibrator stuck inside of me so I went to the doctors... ...this morning when the batteries went flat"
"One day, scientists will build a very intelligent supercomputer. ""Is there a god?"", they ask. *** ""There is one now."""
"One Day I hope I can afford an iphone like that girl in line in front of me with the food stamps!!!"
"ME WATCHING OLYMPIC EVENT: ""Holy shit that was amazing!"" COMMENTATOR: ""Ooh, that was not good at all. He must really be upset with himself."""
"Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment? A mental hospital."
"How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout ""Heroes in a half shell."" 3) When a girl yells back ""Turtle Power,"" marry her."
"Top 5 oxymorons: 1. Jumbo shrimp 2. Civil war 3. Virtual reality 4. Great outdoors 5. Family vacation"