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Joke of the Day

"One day, scientists will build a very intelligent supercomputer. ""Is there a god?"", they ask. *** ""There is one now."""

"If you ever fart in public, just yell, ""Turbo power!"" and walk faster"

"I'm pretty big on body art *pulls up sleeve to reveal tattoo of a hoof with ""Hoof-arted"" written underneath*"

"I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help. I told her I don't have the money to hire a hitman."

"What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan? Urine for a surprise."

"I was going to buy some Veet wax strips, but then i realized they were a rip-off"

"Receptionist: ""That lady in the waiting room is picking her nose."" Plastic Surgeon: ""Good! That'll save me some time. Send her right in."""

"This subreddit"

"My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where no one talks to me while I drink it."

"I'm going to slide down your chimney tonight. Wink. Wink."