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Joke of the Day

"How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout ""Heroes in a half shell."" 3) When a girl yells back ""Turtle Power,"" marry her."

"So I went to a zoo the other day.... But all they had was a dog It was a shih tzu"

"Why are the dinosaurs extinct? Q: Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A: because they're dead."

"Always the barmaid, never the bar."

"Whats 12 inches long and drives women crazy? [NSFW] A still born..."

"I hadn't been laid in a long time, so I slipped a girl a roofie at a bar. She still wouldn't have sex with me, she just wanted to sleep."

"Why arent There Many jewish gardeners? Because money doesnt grow on trees"

"My child's first name Is going to be look"

"I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? Q: What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? A: My ass!"