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Joke of the Day

"I don't have a mental problem, I have mental problems...plural."

"What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore"

"What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? bison"

"BREAKING NEWS: BLIND MAN HAS BEEN SHOT He didn't even see it coming."

"I don't remember all of last night but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome!"

"I found a good bread recipe where you don't have to get your hands messy from mixing it The bread was kneadless, to say"

"A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan... Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat."

"A man who calls himself ""Dog the Bounty Hunter"" is currently hunting down a man named ""War Machine"". We all live inside a comic book now."

"How do you make gold soup? Put 14 carrots in it."

"How to curse like an Irishman ""Whale oil beef hooked!"""