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Joke of the Day

"Nobody I'll change my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts,and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this"

"Shout out to politicians for keeping the word ""folks"" alive."

"To make a boob joke all you need to do is use words that end in 'it' Isn'tit?"

"Q: What do pelicans eat? A: Anything that fits the bill."

"Gravity falls fans are going to hate me for this... My ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!"

"What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o acid."

"The good news is, that bag of clothes from 1998 that I still haven't taken to the donation centre...they are back in style now."

"And then alcohol said ""Put that on facebook, it's hilarious."" But alcohol was wrong. So very wrong."

"How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs."

"Sports are a lot like porn... Great ball handling skills can make a lot of money."