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Joke of the Day

"I have twin brothers named Juan and Amal. I only carry a picture of one of them because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

"Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's live in a homeless man's beard."

"What's Green and Smells like Pork? Kermit's Finger"

"I want to start a cafe and fill it with surrealist paintings. I'll call it Salvador Deli."

"Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic."

"The USA condemns unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation."

"Asians be like... ay bb u wan sum duck?"

"You can build a thousand bridges. You suck one dick and you're known as a cocksucker."

"What does the Rose iphone 7 and the Titanic have in common? They both lost Jack."

"*leans into microphone* My question is for Salt-N-Pepa. ""Hi"" ""Hey"" Hi.""Push It"" is about takin a dump, right? ""No"" ""Nope"" *hands friend $5*"