36496

Joke of the Day

"The price of oil has dropped so far that... Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen."

"When I see you, I'm a 10... On the [Mohs scale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohs_scale_of_mineral_hardness#Minerals)."

"Little on the nose that the Pope's riding around in a Fiat, isn't it? But then, I guess we know he's into that Fiat luxe."

"There's a disturbing movie about an evil German lunatic who creates an ass-to-mouth chain of people who digest each other's shit. You know, that documentary about the Trump campaign."

"Did you hear that Hillary dropped out of the presidential race? They did a colonoscopy and found out she had a brain tumor."

"*Stands at produce aisle *Grabs GIANT zucchini *Holds it high in the air *Yells: Is THIS cucumber big enough for you, honey?!?!?!"

"Did you hear the joke about Ebola? ...well you're probably not going to get it."

"The first rule of Fight Club is till death do us part."

"How do African mermaids cover their tits? They use sea bras."

"How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb, and the other to hold the penis. LADDER! I MEANT LADDER!"