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Joke of the Day

"The first rule of Fight Club is till death do us part."

"When the doctors diagnosed me with leprosy... ...I laughed my head off."

"I have a splitting headache today. Voldemort must be back from the dead and attempting to kill me."

"A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''"

"Now that the Olympics are over, Michael Phelps can finally be released back to his natural habitat; the couch with a bong."

"I haven't cleaned my car in so long that I still have paper maps in my glovebox"

"What do you call a snail on a sail boat? A snailor"

"What's the difference between my wife and a balloon? The balloon still takes my breath away."

"Why was the girl at starbucks counting her coins in 3's? Because white girls cant even"

"The local cemetery has been really popular lately People are dying to get in."