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Joke of the Day

"My friend just posted this on Facebook. He'll make a classic dad one day. I remember 2013 like it was yesterday OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT!"

"You (drinking coffee): Drugs are bad Me (smugly injecting heroin): Actually, coffee is a drug"

"Anyone know where I could find a bunch of ""Glad You Aren't Here"" postcards to send out when I go on my vacation in a few weeks? I'll need about 50 of them."

"Doc Says: I got bad news and worst news... The test show that you have alzheimer's and Cancer.. Patient: well at least I don't have Cancer..."

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster, then he rolled over and fell asleep."

"Adolescent Sex Limerick There once was a girl named Sue, who really knew how to screw. She would grab my little dick, make it as hard as a stick then ride it until I blew."

"What do you call a horse who likes crackers? Seatriscuit"

"14: what could happen? Me: you could get her pregnant. 14: im not comfortable putting my dingaling in her thingaling Me:*writes suicide note"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? Art."

"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates, they'll kill your dog."