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Joke of the Day

"Adolescent Sex Limerick There once was a girl named Sue, who really knew how to screw. She would grab my little dick, make it as hard as a stick then ride it until I blew."

"Two Mexicans What do you call two Mexicans in the back of a fire truck? Jose and Hose B"

"I don't suffer insomnia like most tweeters do. I always get a solid 7, maybe 8 minutes of sleep every night."

"What do Winnie the Pooh and Ivan the Terrible have in common? The same middle name. (Shamelessly stolen from Cortana.)"

"What is a banged-up used car? A car in first-crash condition."

"How do you know Tiger Woods is one of the richest people in the world? He plays golf."

"Facebook etiquette: Thou shall not hold a conversation under someone's status post."

"How do you get a Nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy..."

"KIDNAPPER: [on phone] I'm holding your son for ransom. DAD: I have no money, what's the ransom? KIDNAPPER: Bring me one rich kid."

"What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law? You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law."