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Joke of the Day

"Anyone know where I could find a bunch of ""Glad You Aren't Here"" postcards to send out when I go on my vacation in a few weeks? I'll need about 50 of them."

"Dear Abby My name is Gloria Mae and I'm from Tennessee. I'm 14 years old and am still a virgin. Is my brother gay?"

"I'm starting to believe that most people wouldn't be that much different if they were turned into actual zombies...."

"What do you call a female deer with no eyes? Cotton eye doe"

"I don't think it's very professional for my psychologist to say ""holy shit!"" twice during my hour."

"I met Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day. He's head of quality control at Lays."

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Have an ice day. It's a bad one, I know."

"A new book for stoners aspiring to greatness 7 Habits of Effectively High People"

"How much does a pirate pay for corn? Buccaneer."

"What do John Belushi, Jim Morrison, John Candy, Jimi, Hendrix, and Janice Joplin have in common? They all died Jung."