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Joke of the Day

"Me: It's not illegal to be rude to cops. Them: Well, if you poke a bear, what do you expect? Me: That's why we don't make bears cops."

"What's honey mustards least favorite holiday? Cinco de Mayo"

"Well, I just had this Epiphany, but I'm a little worried ... I think she might be underage."

"Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'll just let it go."

"You know why fencers subscribe to /r/Jokes? Because they always appreciate a riposte."

"What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell!"

"- Your Honor, I'd like to plead insanity. - On what grounds?! - I'm married. - I'll allow it."

"I imagine if I had a job doing manual labor, I'd be in great shape. Then I do 15 minutes of manual labor and reality comes back into focus."

"A man in the restroom today almost pissed on my pants from the next urinal over. I yelled at him and he said ""It's alright man. Wouldn't you rather be pissed off than pissed on?"""

"""How come we live in a world where lemonade is made from artificial flavors & furniture polish is made from real lemons?"""