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Joke of the Day

"- Your Honor, I'd like to plead insanity. - On what grounds?! - I'm married. - I'll allow it."

"What's the difference between a hooker, a lover and a housewife? A hooker says ""Faster! faster!"" A lover says ""Slower....slooower..."" A housewife says ""Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."""

"Yo Momma is so ugly that she scares blind people!!!!"

"A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they'll blame the host's cooking. Lol."

"Which vitamin best helps a pokemon breed? PP Up."

"Why are all the guys banging hot chicks in porn fat and ugly? I don't know, but sign me up!"

"Local News. A couple turned themselves into police. Wonder what they were before."

"Did you hear about the bureaucrat who was a Platonist? They were really obsessed with forms."

"In high school, what was Robert E Lee voted? Most likely to secede"

"Hey honey, I bought some steaks. I need you to stand on this box next to me while I eat them. Because it says right here, ""Best if consumed by date on package."""