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Joke of the Day

"I imagine if I had a job doing manual labor, I'd be in great shape. Then I do 15 minutes of manual labor and reality comes back into focus."

"What do you call bees that produce milk? Boo-Bees...."

"Whiteboards are... Remarkable"

"You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket filled with manure? The bucket"

"I'm making a graph on my previous exs It has an Ex axis and a Why axis."

"If two rap artists adopted a child... Would it be named Lil Jon Wayne?"

"I used to be an adventurer like you But then I took crippling adult responsibilities."

"""Dress for the job you want,"" they said. Apparently pornstar wasn't a valid option."

"I have a dog to make sure that the noises in the middle of the night are nothing serious and I have a cat to make those noises."