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Joke of the Day

"""How come we live in a world where lemonade is made from artificial flavors & furniture polish is made from real lemons?"""

"What did Princess Fiona call her husband when she found him in the middle of a gay orgy? Bishrekual"

"Country music is like a vacuum. . . As soon as you turn it off it stops sucking."

"Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball <p> My favorite joke since I was little"

"I want so badly for crayons to taste like their color."

"What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee? Don't worry, you'll fit right in."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in three weeks. She told me not to interrupt her."

"My neighbour really pissed me off last night... He kept playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over. I wouldn't mind normally but it was all night long."

"Want his attention? Send nudes Want to piss him off? When he responds, reply ""Oops, wrong person"""

"What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con desending.."