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Joke of the Day
"Who do they bring in if the stand up comedian dies during the show? A stand in comedian"
Next Joke
"[funeral] ME: I never know what to say at these things. WIDOW: sorry for your loss. ME: it's ok, I'm sure I'll think of something."
"If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we're fcuked."
"A robot goes to see a psychiatrist... ""Just because my intelligence is artificial doesn't mean that my problems aren't real."""
"You can convince people to go anywhere with the promise of free food."
"Little Monster: I hate my teacher. Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!"
"Easy way to earn karma points on /r/jokes? Options are: 1) Crack a witty comment 2) Link to /r/dadjokes 3) Submit a damn joke and the answer is.....drumroll...... just reply with a ""whoosh"", simple!"
"instead of taking anti-depressants I just think about how many different kinds of sandwiches there are"
"This murderer my friend knew double crossed him. He really stabbed him in the back."
"Why do Egyptian warships have glass floors? So they can see their air force"