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Joke of the Day

"This murderer my friend knew double crossed him. He really stabbed him in the back."

"Your girlfriend is much prettier with her hair down. And by down' I mean over her face'."

"If Barry Allen had a restaurant what would it be called? Greased lightning?"

"What do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows..."

"Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose? He was a ghoulsnif fer."

"Punthagorean Theorem A and B are pretty square, but get to the root of C and you'll find he's always high, pot in use."

"Did you hear about the beef jerky manufacturer who was convicted of fraud? It was a cut and dry case."

"Husband, Wife and Doctor Joke Doctor: Your husband needs a proper rest. Here are some sleeping tablets. Woman: When will he have these? Doctor: It's for you, not for him."

"Me: There is a small tree on fire. 911: Could you describe it? Me:Picture shrubbery...now picture it engulfed in flames."

"*intercom comes on* ""Would the owner of a white Jetta with headlight eyelashes please report to the front desk so u can be shot in the face"""