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Joke of the Day

"I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging Ever since then, my muggings have been a lot more successful!"

"Just thought this one up: What do Jay Leno and Payton Manning have in common? They both know when it's time to turn things over."

"people think theyre so smart for shopping around for good deals, but you know whats more fun than researching prices? having expensive stuff"

"They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good - they just couldn't get a decent wi-fi signal."

"Cleaning the Attic Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Hey - get out! We don't want your type in here!''"

"Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender yells, ""we don't serve your type in here."""

"If i had a dollar for everytime someone called me a racist black people would probably come rob me."

"Can anyone recommend a good website where people I knew in high school post pics of their meals?"

"Your dog is better than your wife. Don't believe me? Lock them both in your trunk for an hour and then see who's happy when you open it."

"My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber."