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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering."

"What idiot called it the Police/Fire Department Headquarters and not GUNS 'N HOSES?"

"what's grey and comes in quarts? an elephant"

"BASEBALL! All the excitement of football squeezed conveniently into 162 five-hour games!"

"Why don't the post office get the Jehovah's Witnesses to deliver the mail on Saturday? Work smarter not harder people."

"*points w/ middle finger* ""Sure, take this road for about another mile, pull over & go ask someone else"" - Me giving directions."

"What is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold."

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for gelato."

"I faked a cough to get out of work. I tell myself I wasn't lying... I was just being SARScastic."

"I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex Now she should understand what rejection feels like."