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Joke of the Day

"*points w/ middle finger* ""Sure, take this road for about another mile, pull over & go ask someone else"" - Me giving directions."

"If you've never had a 4 hour conversation about which cartoon character gives the best blowjobs, then I question your commitment to tequila."

"LOL there's like 20 guys w/ ""Female Body Inspector"" windbreakers that's hilarious they're seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO"

"Me: Goodnight mom I love you Mom: I have a boyfriend Dad putting arm around Mom: This loser giving you a problem?"

"Why was the cannibal sad at dinner? Because he got the cold shoulder."

"I hate it when I'm at someone's house and they ask stupid questions like ""Who are you?"" and ""Is that a gun?"""

"Jokes on reddit are always original and hilarious."

"Two women are gardening when one pulls up a huge carrot, she says ""this reminds me of my husband"" and the other woman says, ""that big?"" and the first one says ""No, that dirty."""

"The Story of Volcanos God: Ok, how about a mountain.. Angel: We got mountains. God: Lemme finish. That shits fire. Angel: Metal. *fist bump*"

"I don't have OCD... I have CDO. The letters are in alphabetical order, as they should be."