227577

Joke of the Day

"what's grey and comes in quarts? an elephant"

"Did you hear about the fool who keeps going round saying ""no""? No. Oh so it's you!"

"My new neighbor's super hot but I haven't tried to take her out yet... When I checked the oven, she wasn't quite done."

"How does a Confederate flag and a rainbow flag differ? The latter represents people that win."

"Not to brag but I'm never late for work without a good reason. For example this week my boss is on vacation..."

"I Thought having a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant... But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby"

"Taught a parrot to repeatedly say ""WHERE ARE YOUR GLOVES?"" and now I don't have to talk to my kids until Spring so that's pretty cool."

"On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Obsessed am I with Harry Potter? 9 3/4 *Credit goes to a tee shirt I saw. I'm not that witty.*"

"A new movie based on the game Tetris is about to drop... ..so you better start lining up. (two for the price of one!)"

"An Apple computer walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""What'll it be, Mac?"""