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Joke of the Day

"eating dinner with a gun in both of my hands is challenging but i realized i can just shoot the food and catch the splatter in my mouth"

Next Joke
 
"Lucy fell in front of the train she screamed out for help ""HELP ME! I DONT WANT TO DIE THIS WAY!!"", so Luke came running over and cut her throat instead. Nice work Luke. You should be more like Luke."
"Senator Clinton what is your favorite flavor of pie Well the Republicans........... Edit: Secretary"
"There are many jokes on Jimmy Fallon's TV shows... like Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders."
"what did the sign outside the rehab center say? ""Keep off the grass"""
"When German politics go right, they go far right. Right through Poland"
"RadioShack is on the verge of shutting down. . . I guess its batteries are running out"
"The airport lost my luggage so I took it to court. I lost my case."
"I have determined that the origin of monkeys on earth must be Neptune... ...because it is the ape planet in our solar system!"
"*sees Deer Crossing sign* *further down the road sees deer nailed to crucifix* ""Oh wow, they weren't lying"""