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Joke of the Day
"I got irradiated recently... I like to think it adds to my glowing personality."
Next Joke
"Hey Shakespeare, are you writing your next play in pentameter? Iamb."
"What do you call a rapping egg? Over-easy E"
"""911 what's your emergency?"" ""Yeah, I've got so many questions about bees."" *sighs* ""Please hold for the president."""
"My friend has recently started collecting acting equipment. Props to him."
"Q: How do you circumcise a whale? A: You send down five skin divers."
"When people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years... ""I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"""
"Ok Chicago, please be responsible. If the game doesn't go your way tonight... At least act like you've been there before."
"Don't take it personally if I don't like you. Some of my best friends are people I don't like."
"A dorito asks the doctor whether or not he's done the DNA test to his son yet.... The doctor responds, ""Yes, I'm afraid he's NACHO son."""