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Joke of the Day

"Ok Chicago, please be responsible. If the game doesn't go your way tonight... At least act like you've been there before."

"What's the difference between Jews and Pizzas? Pizzas don't scream in the oven. *Preparing self For the downvotes/Report*"

"NO MORE READING! Yesterday I was reading this article in the newspaper about all the danger of alcohol. It scared the crap out of me!!! So that's it - from this day forward, NO MORE READING!"

"What's the great thing about having aids for gay men No need to worry about getting it again"

"I am sure that in alcohol are female hormones. When I drink I talk too much and don't know how to drive."

"Nothing says' I love my dog' quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own."

"What do you call a prepubescent rapist? ... a smooth criminal."

"Whenever you're having a bad day, think of the guy who has to put the circus tent back in its bag."

"I told the boys at the pub that the first thing I will do if I win the lottery is buy a couple of rounds... of ammunition to keep all you losers away."

"What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar? An ice Kareem clone"