35811

Joke of the Day

"every coat is a fur coat when your cat sleeps on it"

"Why did the pet proctologist fear his first feline procedure? Because wether he succeeded or failed, he knew he'd end up with a cat-ass-trophy on his hands."

"I heard Oscar Pistorius had a hard time finding a lawyer for his murder trial... they kept saying he didn't have a leg to stand on."

"Look UPS guy, you can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect them to have pants on."

"I admit I once used the n-word when someone asked me to go to a Kenny Chesney concert. But that n-word was, ""No."""

"Black holes suck. Think about it."

"Donald Trump said he thinks we made the right decision to leave the EU. This confirms that we absolutely did not make the right decision."

"Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest? Antimony. ^I'm ^so ^sorry..."

"""I got hoes in different area codes."" - World's most disorganized landscaper."

"Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers? To stop it from falling out."