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Joke of the Day
"""I got hoes in different area codes."" - World's most disorganized landscaper."
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"Be careful what batteries you use. My GF uses Energizer batteries and her kid keeps going and going."
"Women... are like hardwood floors. Lay 'em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for the rest of your life."
"There are only 2 kinds of Priest: There are the ones who masturbate and Liars."
"Every man hopes to marry a nymphomaniac; but in many marriages, after a few years the nympho leaves, but the maniac stays."
"So I brought a girl home from the bar last night... When we got to bed, she said ""Give me twelve inches and make me bleed!"" So I fucked her twice and punched her in the face."
"What's the inverse of Kansas? Arkansas"
"What are the cops gonna do? Unrape you?"
"Can I favorite people's favorites of me? Looking for more affirmation."
"I sing like an amputee. Because I can't hold a note, can't carry a tune.."