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Joke of the Day

"Why did the pet proctologist fear his first feline procedure? Because wether he succeeded or failed, he knew he'd end up with a cat-ass-trophy on his hands."

Next Joke
 
"I'm white and my wife is black. I'm trying to convince her we should adopt a Chinese baby so we can tell people that's how they are made"
"I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they're ok."
"The lazy river is my favorite ride at this amusement park. ""Ahhhhh!"" I scream as I float in a giant circle, not spilling my drink at all"
"Food trucks: Because the problem with most grilled cheese sandwiches is you don't spend 20 minutes breathing exhaust."
"Harry Potter: ""Hermoine, I'm gay"" Hermione: ""Are you kidding?"" Harry: ""No, I'm fucking Sirius"""
"And on the 8th day, God almost created Lionel Richie but was all like ""Naw, I'll just hold off a few thousand years then one day HELLO!"""
"No matter how kind you are.... German kids are kinder."
"[me as a poltergeist] *putting forks in the spoon section of the cutlery drawer* ooooOooOooooo"
"What do Osama Bin Laden and a salmon have in common? It's a great life until they run into a seal."